Other sunsets
by QueenofSuburbia
Summary: "Lilly had never been good at keeping secrets, even when this one would potentially ruin her best friend's life." Six months after Lilly's Big Reveal, Veronica needs to know who her real father is and deal with her other demons too. Pre-series AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything about Veronica Mars, and this is the first and only time I'm going to say it;). **

**This is a story I've been working on for quite awhile now, so more chapters will follow soon. I'm not a native English speaker so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and if you spot them, please tell me! This is my take on how things would've worked out for Veronica if Lilly hadn't died, mainly focusing on Veronica's character growth. No big mysteries, I guess, but I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless!**

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I.

'Come on Veronica, you're not even paying attention!'

Veronica opened her eyes and snapped back to reality. She was at the Kane estate, like old times, sitting in one of the lounge chairs by the pool side. Lilly was waving her hand in front of her face, obviously impatient and even a little bit annoyed.

They hadn't seen each other for the majority of the summer holidays. Veronica hadn't seen much of Neptune at all, since her dad thought she needed some time off. He'd proposed she'd go to some family friends in Portland and she had readily accepted his offer. The four weeks she'd spend there had been nice, and when she returned she was even capable of spending some time with Lilly Kane again.

It wasn't that they hadn't stayed in touch during the school year, but things had changed, even before the 'Big Reveal', as Veronica called it. Their once so close foursome had fallen apart. Duncan avoided her in every way possible and Logan and Lilly seemed to be broken up for good. Well, they'd _tried, _getting back together a couple of times, but it was definitely not with the same passion as before. Logan was still hanging out with Duncan a lot, but they seemed to avoid the Kane Estate whenever Veronica came over.

And then _that _happened. Lilly had never been good at keeping secrets, even when this one would potentially ruin her best friend's life.

'_Veronica, we're sisters!_'

Like it was all some sort of show, like she expected her to be happy and excited.

Didn't she understand she was tearing Veronica's perfect world apart with every word she said? She didn't even look at her friend shocked expression while explaining the whole situation, a big smile on her face. '_Your mom and my dad, well, they had this thing going, ever since high school… makes sense because my mom's the worst… So you and Duncan, it was never going to work out, really… but we're fine, aren't we? Isn't this the best?_'

She'd ran. She had been running ever since.

'Hey, earth to Mars! Has Portland filled your head with fog?'

Kane Estate. Lilly Kane. _Come on, Veronica, keep yourself together_.

'Sorry, what were you asking again?'

'What about Ben? What do you think of him?'

'I don't know, he seems nice…'

'Yeah, but nice won't do it. Nice is just another word for boring.'

She couldn't help herself and giggled. 'You're never satisfied, aren't you Lil?'

Lilly looked at her and smirked. 'Don't suppose I'll ever be. You, on the other hand…'

'What about me?'

'You'd settle for almost everyone. Don't look at me like that, you know it's true! One romantic gesture and he's swept you of your feet. I mean, if you'd even go for Duncan…' She threw her head back and laughed.

Before the Big Reveal, Veronica had never gotten into fights with her best friend. She loved Lilly and even though her behavior shocked her sometimes, she didn't say anything about it. But after shit hit the fan, their relationship had lost its certainty. Lilly's remarks had become more malicious too, often trying to provoke her, to get a response out of her. It didn't matter what kind of response, clearly. And Veronica couldn't just let things slide anymore.

'Stop being such a bitch, Lilly.'

An uncomfortable silence followed, so unlike their silences from the past. She remembered those days at the poolside. They'd talked and gossiped until they grew tired, dozing off only to wake up to the sound of a car pulling up the driveway, meaning her dad had arrived to pick her up. _You really thought those days would last forever? _

Yes. Yes, she had.

In many ways, this was a new Veronica. Her connection with Lilly, even if it wasn't as close as it used to be, made her a part of the tightly knit 09'er circle. But the past year, she'd noticed that her status was crumbling. Lilly was going to be a senior now. Next year she'd be on her own and they'd probably drop her like a stone.

She didn't even mind it that much – most of the 09'ers were just fake and boring. _See? A new Veronica for sure. Last year you were always so concerned about your reputation._

She said goodbye to Lilly after they'd made some vague agreement to see each other soon and walked back to her car. She had her own car now, which was a plus. It wasn't new and it wasn't shiny, but she liked it and the new sense of independence it gave her.

Lilly's Big Reveal had turned her world upside down, but it had also opened her eyes and given her some clarity. She still believed her mom loved her dad, and dad definitely thought the world of Lianne, but their family life had never been perfect. There had been fights. There had been painful silences. She'd found liquor bottles and empty pillboxes. Now she looked behind her mom's cheerful façade and saw the broken woman she was so desperately trying to hide.

At first, she couldn't think about Jake Kane because her emotions would boil over. She couldn't think about Duncan because it made her vomit. She'd _loved_ him and he'd just turned his back on her. He couldn't even begin to know how much she'd pined for him, how much she'd wanted him back. But that burning heartache turned into a soft, throbbing pain she'd pushed to the background. Her life didn't revolve around Duncan Kane, not anymore. She had to let it go.

But even though she'd turned her back on Lilly, the idea that they could be sisters added yet another layer to their already complicated relationship. Lilly hadn't dropped her completely, like she thought she would. Maybe some twisted sense of responsibility had gotten the better of her, because she kept trying to keep their friendship intact. And Veronica played along, probably because she needed something familiar to hold onto.

Her stay in Portland hadn't filled her head with fog, it had only helped her to make a decision. She had walked around for six months with the knowledge that her mom had cheated on her dad and Jake Kane might be her father, and although she feared the truth, it was driving her crazy. She didn't want to guess anymore, she wanted to _know_. She needed to know who her mother actually was, and what happened between her and Jake Kane. And more than anything, she needed to know if Keith Mars was her real father.


	2. Chapter 2

II.

She parked her car in front of the Sac'n'Pac and took a deep breath. She definitely needed something to raise her sugar level before going home. Her dad was working overtime (and it wasn't the first time), so she'd have to face mom alone. Lianne was still trying to keep up her farce, but even she had noticed that Veronica had changed. A month after Lilly's confession she'd gotten sick of her pink and pastel clothes and ripped up half of it. Lianne had walked into her room, her eyes big as saucers, as Veronica was tearing up her frilly blouses and white cotton dresses.

'Veronica darling, your pretty clothes…' Her voice had faltered. For the first time in her life, Veronica had been overcome with rage, with an urge to hurt something or someone.

'Just go away!'

'Veronica-'

'Shut up!' Lianne's face turned white. Veronica had never said something like that before. 'You only make things worse. You _always_ make things worse!'

Her mom didn't say a word before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Hours later, Keith found his daughter on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. She tolerated his presence, and she tolerated his arms around her as he tried to comfort her.

'I need you, dad,' she'd whispered, while he hugged her and softly stroke her hair.

'I'm always here, sweetheart. It's gonna be alright now,' he answered.

'I _need _you,' she said again, putting as much meaning into those words as she could muster. She knew she needed him, and she needed him to be her dad. He was the only one who actually seemed to give a damn about her. She realized she didn't even know Jake Kane. He had money, lots of it, he cared for his children… at least, that's what it looked like. But not like Keith. Not like her father.

She needed to know.

The Sac'n'Pac was empty, save for the boy behind the counter. He was probably new here, since she was pretty sure she'd never seen his face before. Then again, he wasn't an 09'er, otherwise he wouldn't be working here. _Did he just smile at her?_

She grabbed a twinkie and a package of gum and went back to the counter, where the boy was clearly waiting in anticipation, an unsure smile still lingering around his lips. He looked like a little puppy, waiting for someone to throw a bone. _Lilly would crush him_, she couldn't help but think.

_Would you? _She hadn't really changed that much, had she? She wasn't sweet innocent Veronica anymore, but could she really be thinking like Lilly Kane? _Well, they say blood runs thicker than water…_ She shook it off and smiled at him. He visibly relaxed. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' His nametag read _Wallace Fennel_. 'New in the neighborhood?'

'Yeah. We just moved here. I'm starting at Neptune High next month, junior year.'

Wallace flinched a bit, afraid his response might have been a bit too enthusiastic. Veronica couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 'Well, you already met one of your classmates then. Veronica Mars.'

'Wallace Fennel.' The smile on his face was probably worth a million. 'That's cool. I mean, cool name. Cool to meet you too, of course.'

'Yeah, that's okay.' She put her food on the counter. He carefully avoided Veronica's gaze, clearly embarrassed with his answers. There was something about him that endeared her. Lilly would certainly not approve. _Well, screw Lilly, _she thought.

'I'll see you at school then. Don't worry too much about it, you'll be fine.'

He looked up again, saw she wasn't joking and smiled. 'Yeah. See ya 'round, Veronica.'

She was still smiling when she left the Sac'n'Pac and returned to her car. She didn't even need the 09'ers. Maybe she was perfectly capable of making friends on her own.

Back in the car, she turned on the radio and pulled out of the parking space. Supertramp's _Take the long way home _was playing, and she smiled at the irony of that song. She _was _taking the long way home, after all. Everything to forget about her family and their troubles.

Her parents had thought it was just a bad break up, but after a month or two they actually began to worry. They started questioning if things between her and Lilly were still okay, if things were going fine at school, if some kids were bothering her…

She'd thought about telling him. She'd always hated lying to him, but somehow she couldn't come clean about this. It was grating on her, keeping the truth from him, but it hurt even more to think of him finding out what had been going on behind his back. Things like these kept her awake at night and sometimes she thought sleep deprivation was going to get the better of her. She'd come close to telling him a couple of times, but found the words just wouldn't come out.

She parked her car in front of the house, seeing a still vacant spot on their driveway. It must've been past 8, but her dad wasn't home yet. Another long day at the office, probably. She stuffed the twinkie into her mouth and sighed. Eating made her feel better – for a while. Running made her feel better too, but just as temporarily. Getting her mind off things wasn't that hard, but it would only take a couple of minutes for reality to kick in again.

The twinkie left a sickly sweet taste in her mouth. It was just too much, after her day with Lilly… She got out of the car and threw up.

_What the hell is wrong with you, Veronica Mars?_

She tried to steady her breath, but she was shaking all over. _Ah, but that's the point. What's it gonna be? Veronica Mars, or Veronica Kane?_

That thought alone was enough to make her throw up again.


	3. Chapter 3

III.

So she needed a paternity test.

She'd done a bit of research already. It was relatively easy to purchase one online, but she hadn't figured out yet how to retrieve the package without her dad knowing. She couldn't let it be delivered at their address, because either him or Lianne would find out. Maybe she could have it send to the post office, but that wouldn't be totally safe either because they'd probably notify Keith Mars.

She was lying in bed but apparently sleeping wasn't on the program tonight. Sometimes she wished her mind worked a bit slower, or was at least less active during night hours. She needed a distraction, but of course Duncan's face floated up again and she had trouble pushing that image of him away.

She hated being hung up on him, after everything. She knew he was still thinking about her too. Even though it was just so wrong. She muffled a scream in her pillow. _We sure are some messed up kids. _Duncan with his sullen silences and deadpan looks, Lilly doing everything to piss off her mom, Logan with his constant drinking and partying… and that left her. Virginal Veronica Mars, who was now sporting a short haircut and combat boots.

Lilly had simply crooked an eyebrow at her new looks. 'Veronica Mars! Have you been watching _Freaks and geeks _again?'

She'd just shrugged it off. She couldn't quite put her finger on Lilly's reaction, but after a couple of minutes she realized Lilly was simply amused. 'Well, I've got to say, you've got guts. I'm actually impressed.'

That was the first genuine smile they'd shared in weeks. 'It wasn't exactly the look I'd go for…'

'Thanks for your input, Lil, but this is my thing.'

'Well, who knows. Maybe grunge will become the trend again. In that case, you're all settled.'

Lilly had slung her arm around her shoulder and they'd walked up to school together. When they heard Madison actually gasp in disgust, Lilly had just thrown her head back and laughed. She never said it out loud, but Veronica knew what that meant. _You're still my best friend, Veronica. No matter what everyone else thinks._ She actually felt better than she'd felt in a long time.

Duncan had been dumbfounded when he saw her... but she wasn't going to think about him.

Logan had just smirked, but she could see a glimmer of admiration in his eyes. They hadn't really talked much after he and Lilly had broken up for good. Two weeks after her miserable breakup with Duncan, she'd made the mistake of trying to talk to Logan. Just from the look at his face she'd known he wasn't in a good mood, but she'd went through with it anyway.

'Well, well, if it isn't Veronica Mars.' He leaned back a bit, as if he was going to enjoy the show. She'd seen this Logan before, she sensed the anger behind his relaxed façade, but she'd never thought he would turn his anger on her like that.

'I just want to talk.'

'What did you do to him? You must have broken his poor fragile heart pretty good, given the state he's in. Can we really still call you Saint Veronica, or should I think of a new nickname?'

She'd closed her eyes and drew a sharp breath. 'Okay, I don't get it either. I didn't do anything. He just… decided to ignore me. I swear I have no idea why. Please Logan, has he said anything to you about it?'

'Hmm, let me think… Nope. Haven't you talked to your lovely girlfriend yet? She loves to dish the dirt, after all.' His behavior made sense now.

'Are you two broken up again?'

'Is it any of your business, Veronica Mars? Oh wait, it probably is. She broke up with me over some girl named Yolanda. Does that ring any bells?'

'Logan, I'm sorry, but you couldn't really expect me…'

'Oh, of course you had to tell her. You're such an angel. Lilly should be happy to have you as her little lapdog. Funny it doesn't work both ways, doesn't it Mars?'

She felt empty all of the sudden. 'Logan, what –'

'Because while I was still pining after Lilly, she was screwing the local biker club! Oh, don't pretend you didn't know, Ronnie. She was probably sharing all her dirty little secrets with you, while you were just giggling along. Or is there something Duncan should know too?'

She opened her mouth but found herself at a loss for words. Well, who thought she could really outwit Logan Echolls? If she could at least come up with something…

'I actually thought you were my friend too. My mistake, I guess.'

'You're…'

'Are you actually going to finish that? Because I would love to hear what you're thinking of me right now.'

She just wanted to slap the smug smile of his face. _He's just trying to hurt you like Lilly's hurt him. He isn't even worth it. _Then why did she feel a pang of guilt?

'You're a jerk, Logan.'

She'd turned around and ran away so he couldn't see her cry.

Even after he and Lilly made up (although they'd only managed to stay together for a week or two), they'd avoided each other. He never apologized and she'd never asked for a favor again, and things had definitely cooled between the two of them. She felt a bit sorry because she did care about him, but he knew Lilly would always come in first place like Duncan came in first place for him. The Kane siblings were the glue after all that had kept them together.

_And what if she was one of them?_


	4. Chapter 4

IV.

Family dinners at the Mars residence hadn't always been that comfortable, but they were plain out forced nowadays.

'This is lovely, Lianne,' Keith said, patting his wife's hand awkwardly. Veronica pricked her fork into her lasagna, but she wasn't very hungry. Even after two glasses of water, the taste of vomit wouldn't leave her mouth. She wondered if this was what it would feel like, being Jake Kane's daughter: like a bad taste that just wouldn't go away.

'Very nice, mom,' she forced herself to say, before shoving her plate away, which turned out a bit more forceful than she'd liked. It startled Lianne, but she quickly recovered and managed to smile at her daughter. 'May I be excused?'

'Veronica…'

'Alright honey,' Lianne chirped, not quite capable of keeping the edge out of her voice. 'Going for a walk with Backup?'

Veronica simply nodded. Backup was already shuffling restlessly in the kitchen, and it was a good excuse to get out of the house. She put on his leash and strolled down the street, taking the road downhill towards the beach.

Yes, she lived up the hill. She was practically an 09'er, a girl from the right side of the tracks, but _still_ – they'd never really accepted her as one of them. Only Lilly had done that, Duncan and Logan following her example. But the rest of them, people like Dick and Madison who lived in the grand mansions even further uphill, saw her as a fake, an intruder.

And actually she felt more comfortable downhill, were she could feel the sea breeze in her hair and the sand under her feet. She'd always been an ocean girl, happiest when she was swimming in the always lukewarm Pacific, her sorrows floating away from her there and then. With her feet on solid ground again, however…

When they reached the beach, she unleashed Backup and couldn't help but laugh as he threw himself enthusiastically and rather clumsily into the waves. 'Go get them, big boy!'

A couple of surfers tackled the waves, one being a bit more successful than the others, and Veronica groaned when she recognized them. No way she was going to face Duncan Kane and his friends right now. Still, she liked to look at them, taking on the waves, laughing and yelling at each other with excitement before another wave broke into them. They looked so damn relaxed and elated, and for a moment, she enviedthem.

They never looked her way and she knew she should have been happy with that. But somehow, she'd rather have them notice her, at least acknowledge her existence – something that Duncan had been incapable of the last couple of months.

When they drifted closer to the beach, probably making their way to the shore, she decided it would be best to leave. Only Logan, the best surfer of the group, was still riding the waves, seeming even happier now than he'd looked before when he'd been surrounded by his friends. She couldn't help but stare at him. _What she'd give right now to be as careless as Logan Echolls_.

A frantic cry and the spell was broken. 'Get it off me, man!'

She turned around to see her worst nightmare come true: Backup had tackled Dick Casablancas and thus sealed her fate: public humiliation it was.

'Backup, here boy!' _Thank god she trained him well_, she thought as her dog came running back to her.

Duncan looked positively startled at the sound of her voice, and her appearance seemed to freak him out even more. She knelt down to put Backup on his leash again and in an attempt to hide her burning cheeks.

'Hi,' he mumbled, fixing his gaze on the horizon to avoid her eyes.

'You should keep that dog on the leash, man!' Dick scrambled to his feet, his wetsuit now covered in sticky white sand. 'It's crazy!'

The others snickered, but Dick didn't even seem to notice they were laughing at him.

'He's not crazy, he's just young. He wouldn't hurt a fly.' Not that she felt particularly sorry for Dick, though. God, that guy was annoying.

'Well, I'll see you guys later,' she said, trying to keep her voice breezy. She turned around as fast as she could and pulled the leash tightly to draw Backup away from the group of surfers.

'Hey, wait up!' The voice calling out to her wasn't a familiar one. When she turned around slowly, a guy she didn't recognize casually strolled over. 'I don't think we've met before. I'm Troy, by the way. What's your name?'

'Veronica,' she mumbled.

'Well, I certainly hope to see more of you, Veronica,' he said, a grin flashing over his face. She gritted her teeth in frustration. As if having your dog attack one of your ex's friends wasn't bad enough, another of his friends flirting with you in front of him was definitely even more embarrassing.

'Uh… yeah, maybe,' she answered vaguely before turning around again. Whoever this new guy was, he certainly had some catching up to do.

She got in through the backdoor and halted for a moment to listen. The house was eerily quiet. That probably meant her dad had had a call from the office and her mom was already asleep, either lying in bed or on the couch in the living room.

The living room was empty, and Veronica went upstairs to press her ear against her parents' bedroom door. Not a sound, which probably meant that Lianne had been taking sleeping pills again. Without them, she was a lot more restless. When she walked back to the living room, she noticed an empty bottle of whiskey tucked away under the couch.

_Whiskey and sleeping pills, then. _

She sighed. Being confronted with this side of her mother simply hurt, because it came with a deep-rooted feeling of rejection. Apparently having a loving husband and daughter wasn't enough for Lianne, since she still craved her past lover's affection. The thought alone made her sick and angry.

She opened her schoolbag and searched for her wallet. A plan had formed in her head, although she'd been a bit nervous to carry it out. She opened her wallet and searched for the fake ID's she had made for Lilly and her, before hell broke loose. She wasn't quite certain this would work, but if anything, it was her best shot.


	5. Chapter 5

V.

'What is this?' She peered suspiciously at the package next to her plate on the breakfast table. 'An early birthday gift? Or should I thank Santa in advance?'

'A simple 'thank you' would suffice, kid,' her dad huffed. 'Can't your ol' dad buy you a present every once in a while?'

'You're a sheriff, not a sheik. I hope you didn't spend too much on this…'

'I can spend my money as I like, honey. It's one of the many blessings of being an adult. Now stop complaining and open the box.'

'What's in it?'

'Ah, see, that's where the wrapping comes in. It's used as a device to _conceal_ the contents of the package, not reveal them. If you just open your present, you'll find out soon enough.'

'Okay, okay, no pressure.'

When she found what was inside, she squealed and threw her arms around her father's neck. 'Just so you know, I think you're the best.'

Her dad had bought her a photo camera, one she'd had an eye on for weeks. The model, a Nikon 8800, was more expensive than she could afford herself and definitely a big improvement on her old camera, a cast-off of her dad's. She'd always liked taking pictures, even though her knowledge was still pretty limited. It also provided her with the perfect alibi for what she was going to do next.

'Hey, would you mind if I leave Neptune for the day? It's only an hour drive to Cleveland Forest and I'd love to take some pictures there.'

He didn't answer straight away, but she took the fact he was considering it like a good omen.

'Well, alright. Just make sure you take some lunch and a bottle of water, I wouldn't want you starved or dehydrated. And make sure you stay on the tracks, I don't want you hunted down by wild animals either.'

'Well, I'll do my best.'

When she reached the high way, she took the exit to San Diego instead of Cleveland. She hadn't been totally honest with her dad about her plans for the day, but she knew this was for the best and simply hoped her dad hadn't put a tracking device on her car.

She'd chosen a post office in downtown San Diego for the delivery of her paternity test. Today, she'd gotten an email to confirm the arrival of her package. Taking no risks, she'd ordered the test in the name of Lilly Kane.

She might be crazy for trying to conceal the truth for her dad so badly, but she simply didn't want him to suspect anything before actually _knowing_, before having her facts clear.

From now on, _facts before feelings_ would be her mantra.

She walked over to the information desk and gave the woman behind the counter her sweetest smile. 'I'm here to pick up a package.'

'Alright miss. Can I see your ID please?'

She took out the card she'd made for Lilly, altering it slightly by swapping their pictures, and hoped the woman wouldn't see her own craftsmanship. 'Yes, we've got a package for Lilly Kane here. Would you please sign that?'

She signed the paper, mimicking Lilly's signature quite nicely, and handed the papers back to the employee. The package felt heavy as she lifted it off the counter, but she wasn't sure whether it was just a figment of her imagination.

After her trip to San Diego she headed to Cleveland National Forest anyway, positive that her dad would ask about her pictures and quite happy to try out her new camera too. Once again, she reveled at the multi-functionality of her combat boots – like you could actually _go on a hike_ wearing them. She changed her plain white skirt for khaki's and slung an old army jacket over her shoulders – _how very Lindsay Weir of you_ – before getting out of the car and taking up the blue route, which would lead her back to the same starting point. It was already well past midday, which meant the quality of her pictures would only improve over the hours. The sunlight seemed to set the treetops on fire and the lake was burning as well. She snapped shot after shot, almost feeling calm and peaceful again. She should do this more often.

When she returned to the car, it was almost 5 o'clock and she still had an hour-long drive ahead. She decided to give her dad a call to let him know she was heading home. 'About time, kid.' He seemed slightly annoyed, but bought her explanation about how she'd been carried away and lost track of the time. It wasn't like he was back from the office already, probably completely invested in a certain case or handling off piles of paperwork. He always found a reason to work overtime, and she couldn't really blame him.

It hadn't always been like this. There had been plenty of good times too.

Garden parties with music and laughter and friends. Lazy weekends with sleeping in and breakfast in bed. Dinner in front of the television, the three of them fighting for the remote and the final say in what program to watch. Holidays spend at the beach, or driving an old van through the Rocky Mountains.

She could tell herself she hated her mother, and put all the blame on her, but did she really? The answer was a short, plain 'no'. She couldn't hate her. She'd have to sell her soul to the devil first.

She was in the kitchen making cookie batter. When her eyes met Veronica's, she saw a flash of emotion – Guilt? Pain? Sadness? – before she smiled and beckoned at the bowl. 'Chocolate chip. Your favorite.'

'Hmm… that smells delicious!' She quickly wrapped her arms around her mother's waist before pulling back again. 'Cleveland Forest was really beautiful today.'

'I'm glad you had a nice day.' Conversations between mother and daughter were always forced, but at least they were trying.

'I'm going to load up the pictures on my laptop. I'm really excited to show them to you when I'm finished.'

'Sure, sweetheart. I'll bring up some cookies and milk in a minute.'

She went to her room, carefully placing her bag on the bed and her camera on her desk. First things first. Before she opened her laptop, she took the paternity test out of her bag and read the instructions thoroughly. She couldn't mess this up.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I just wanted to say I'm really happy with all the follows, fav's and reviews! Thank you and I'll try to keep posting regularly:)**

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VI.

'You can't avoid me forever, Veronica.' Lilly's voice sounded like a perfect mix of breeze and smirk, but Veronica could tell she was annoyed.

Like she had been a lot, lately. And with a good reason, because yes, she had been dodging Lilly's calls. She always felt a bit guilty listening to Lilly's voicemail messages. Lilly usually sounded like her normal upbeat self, but her messages often turned into rants about Celeste, whose ice queen-attitude had always smothered Lilly.

She sighed. 'I know, I'm sorry. I guess…' What would she tell Lilly? 'I guess you're right, it's time to get out of my coffin and step into the sunlight again. You've got any plans tonight?'

'Nope. I'm all yours. Movie and pizza at my place?'

'I'll be there at eight o'clock.'

She hung up before she could do anything stupid, like asking if Duncan would be home. Lilly would probably maneuver them into some awkward situation and laugh at their expense, like she'd done many times before. The last time, actually, she'd pushed them in the pool and told them to finally get on with it. That night, they'd had their first kiss.

The test recommended taking cheek swabs. She'd already taken a sample of her own saliva, but that had been, of course, the easy bit. She wondered how she was going to get a DNA sample of her dad. She'd considered wiping his glass, but she wasn't sure if it would provide her with enough material to do a proper test. She sure wasn't willing to take the risk. She needed to come up with something clever.

Unfortunately, she couldn't use a school project as a cover until the summer holidays ended. There were still two weeks left and she didn't want to put it off any longer. _Think, Mars. And you're supposed to be the clever one? _

She groaned and threw herself backwards on the bed. She had three hours left before going to the Kane's. For the first time since coming back from her trip to Portland, she was bored. She could read a book, maybe watch some TV – but neither option really appealed to her. She decided to go for a walk with Backup to take her mind of things.

The sound of Joni Mitchell's _Clouds_ drifted up through stairwell, which meant her mom was having a good day. With a smile, she went downstairs.

'It's been awhile since you've played this record.'

'Hello, darling.' Lianne smiled back at her, looking more relaxed than she'd been in a long time. 'I'm feeling… nostalgic today.'

'Ah yes, those golden days of yore… If you don't mind, I'm going on a walk with Backup.'

'That's fine. Actually, would you like to run to the store and pick up some things for me?'

Her mom gave her a short list with groceries and she left the house, Backup frolicking happily behind her. She decided to go to the beach first, even though the supermarket was further uphill. It was no use dragging a bag of groceries with her down to the beach, and she knew Backup would be happier running through the gulf than stuck on a leash, tied to a lamppost.

This time, the beach was practically empty. The sea was calm and there weren't any surfers in the gulf. She let out a sigh of relief and felt her body relax, realizing she'd been clenching her fists all this time.

So, to sum things up, her life was a big mess. Her boyfriend had broken up with her and now refused to talk to her because she was probably his sister. To make things worse, that made her best friend her sister as well. And all of this because her mother, who also happened to be an alcoholic on the verge of a break-down, had never moved on from her high school sweetheart.

And yet the world seemed so strangely unaltered. _She _had changed – the rest, not so much. Most people were completely unaware of the struggles she was going through right now, even those that stood close to her. She'd spend the past six months drawing up walls around her, keeping secrets from the people she loved and shutting them out. It'd left her exhausted.

Still, there was no way back. The change she'd made was final. Cutting off her hair had meant letting go of the old Veronica forever. She was different now, and growing out her hair or switching back to her preppy wardrobe wouldn't change that.

After picking up the groceries her mom had asked for she got in her car and drove over to Lilly's, silently cursing the fact she probably had to face at least one of the Kane family members. Duncan tried too hard to ignore her, Celeste barely tried to hide her disgust these days and Jake made her feel queasy.

She parked her car down the road and walked up to the house, groaning when she saw a bright yellow X-terra parked in the driveway. If Logan was over, there was no way she could avoid Duncan. Hopefully, Lilly wouldn't be too reluctant to spend the whole evening in her room.

'Veronica!' She turned her gaze to Lilly, who walked through the gate clad in a skimpy blue bikini. No such luck tonight.

'I haven't packed a bikini.' Lilly gave her a mischievous smile.

'That's why I didn't tell you! Now you have to borrow one of mine.' Before Veronica could protest, Lilly had grabbed her hand and started dragging her to the house. 'Don't worry, I'll let you choose. Although I have the final say, of course.'

'What happened to movie night?'

'For God's sake, V! We're young and unbelievably hot, let's save the movies for when we're old and gray, okay?'

Veronica followed Lilly up to her room, sputtering halfheartedly. 'I'm so not in the mood for this.'

Lilly ignored her protests and held up two sets of bikini's, both skimpier and more expensive than anything Veronica owned. She pointed at the black one, immediately regretting her choice as she put it on. _A push up bikini. Lilly thought this through completely._

It looked good on her though, the fragile golden straps around her neck adding a little bit of spice to the otherwise simple black design. 'At least your makeup skills have improved,' Lilly said teasingly, referring to the smoky eyes Veronica was now sporting.

'Really, I love it,' she continued, a big grin on her face. 'Veronica Mars doesn't take your shit anymore. Piss her off now, and she'll kick your ass! Love, love, LOVE it.'

'Lilly, are you going to –' Duncan came barging in without a warning and stopped dead in his tracks. 'Oh.'

'I don't really care what you're going to ask, the answer is probably 'no'. Veronica and I are going to hang out by the pool. Obviously,' she added, pointing at herself and Veronica, who was now feeling very underdressed.

'Logan and I –'

'You two can do whatever you want. But _we're _not going anywhere. So if you want to avoid us, don't come near the pool.'

When Duncan quickly turned around and closed the door, Veronica suddenly felt the urge to throw her arms around her friend. 'Lilly Kane, you're the best.'

'I _know_ I'm fabulous. And you know what? So are you.' Veronica returned her smile and felt a warm glow spreading through her body. Lilly was still on her side. Maybe their friendship wasn't completely hopeless yet. 'Now let's get this party started!'

'I kind of counted on that pizza, Lil.'

'And I would hate to let you down, Ronica. You know pepperoni and chlorine go together just perfectly?'

'Naturally.' Lilly linked her arm through hers and they walked to the pool, shouting and laughing as they jumped into the water.


	7. Chapter 7

VII.

'You're quite the early bird, Veronica.' She looked up from her coffee, startled.

She'd spend the night at Lilly's after an evening of swimming, eating and gossiping. She woke up at half past eight, and decided to use the opportunity to make herself some breakfast before the whole household began to stir.

She'd made herself some coffee and a sandwich and sat down at the kitchen table, knowing that Lilly wouldn't leave the bed before at least ten. Duncan wasn't usually that early on the weekends so she hadn't expected him either.

But to see Logan walking into the kitchen fully dressed was, to put it lightly, shocking. She hadn't talked to him all summer, but she knew from experience he wasn't the type to get up before noon.

'I could say the same about you, Logan.'

'Haven't seen you around lately,' he said casually as he poured in a cup of coffee and took the seat opposite of her. 'I thought things had cooled between you and Lilly.'

'Well, you haven't spent much time around Lilly either. But we're fine, actually. I just had a lot to do.'

'What did I tell you, Mars? School exercises are to be made _during_ the school year only.'

'Actually, I've been doing things that weren't school related. Are you that surprised they didn't include you?'

'Well, surprised doesn't quite cut it. I have to say I'm hurt, you living your life without me. We'll have to make up for that during the school year.'

'Hmm… I can't remember the friend-thing worked out that well for us. I think I'll just live my life and you live yours, and everybody's happy. '

She tried to keep her voice light and breezy, but the sting in her voice was evident. She took a bite of her sandwich while trying to defy his glare. She remembered the hostility in Logan's eyes the last time they'd properly talked, but it wasn't there this time. There was still a bit of an edge in his voice that hadn't been there when they'd been on friendlier terms, but there was none of the anger that had dominated their former conversation.

'I think I'll make some pancakes,' he said suddenly, jumping up from his chair. 'You want some?'

It sounded like an honest question, which surprised her. 'Yeah… okay.'

She swallowed the last piece of her sandwich, but her stomach was still rumbling. 'Do you even know how to make pancakes?'

'Always so suspicious, Mars! You don't think I can cook?'

'You _have _a cook! What's the use?'

'Maybe it's just a hobby? Being rich can be pretty boring, I'll tell you.'

'Poor you.'

He flashed a grin at her as he mixed eggs, milk and flour in a bowl. 'Is that jealousy?'

'I thought you knew me better than that.'

He smirked while putting a frying pan on the stove, but didn't throw something witty back at her, like she'd thought. He seemed even more fidgety than usual. 'Hey uh… so, how you've been?'

_Another honest question? _She eyed him suspiciously from her place at the table. 'Why are you asking?'

'Gee Ronnie, can't a man show some interest sometimes?'

He opened the cupboard to grab a bottle of maple syrup, carefully avoiding her gaze. 'Well, I've been fine.' That was a lie, but why would he care to know the truth? He wasn't really interested in her answer either, obviously mustering up the courage to say something.

'Uh… you know, I think I should apologize.'

Her mouth fell open. This conversation was getting weirder and weirder. 'I know you and Duncan, well, I don't know what happened between the two of you actually, but uh… I was just taking my anger out on you. That day, when you asked for my help. And I was being mean, and stupid.'

'So the pancakes are some sort of peace offering?'

'Uh, yeah. And I'm kinda hungry.'

Now it was her turn to smirk at him. 'Well, everything depends on your cooking skills. If I like your pancakes, I'll accept your apology. If they're lacking, however…'

He started laughing. 'Okay Mars, challenge accepted!'

She smiled at him while he made the pancakes, and had to come to a conclusion that he had some practice. She started to wonder if he'd woken up early especially to talk to her. Well, Logan Echolls always managed to surprise her.

Twenty minutes and ten pancakes later, she had supposedly reluctant accepted his apology, but couldn't help herself from smiling. She swatted his hand as he tried to snatch the remaining pancake from her plate and yelled a couple of good-natured insults at him, which he accepted with a grin.

She couldn't believe herself for admitting it, but she'd missed their bantering. Whatever their relationship had meant before, she quite liked the idea of having Logan as her friend. But she wasn't going to get her hopes up. He had barely acknowledged her after her breakup with Duncan and even after this peace offering, she didn't really know what to expect. She decided to just wait and see.

'Deep in thought?' he asked teasingly, and she realized she had zoned out for a minute. She gave him a sweet smile, but her eyes were glittering mischievously.

'Just conjuring up a master plan to kidnap you and force you to bake me pancakes every morning.'

'Slavery. You do know that would get you in trouble with the authorities.'

'Well, I have friends in high places… hey, I even know a sheriff! I think I can get away with it.'

'You have a devious mind, Mars.'

'Well, aren't you all chummy?' Lilly's voice cut through the kitchen loud and clearly, and made Veronica awfully aware of how close she and Logan had been sitting. The gleeful grin she'd seen on Logan's face only seconds ago disappeared and rapidly changed into an expression of mild annoyance. They might've parted quite amicably, or at least with a lot less drama than earlier breakups, but the former golden couple drove each other crazy just the same.

'Hey Lils.' She managed to make her voice sound like there wasn't anything awkward about the situation. 'Perfect timing as always. We just finished our pancakes the minute you walked in.'

'Oh, well. It's always great to see that my awesome best friend and my equally lovely ex-boyfriend get along so well.' Lilly's voice was dripping with sarcasm, but she beamed a smile at them before rummaging through the cupboards for a bowl and cereal. 'So Logan, how's life as a million-dollar jackass?'

'Just peachy.' Logan pushed back his chair with almost painful nonchalance. 'As much fun as this little conversation has been, I've got to get home.'

His eyes darted to Veronica, but he turned around before he could see her apologizing smile and walked towards the door. 'See you around, Ronnie.'

She felt a blush settling on her cheeks and carefully avoided Lilly's peering gaze. 'I've got to get going too, Lil. Last night was fun.'

'I know. So let's not wait another month to repeat it. Are you free on Thursday?'

'Yeah, sure.' She didn't protest as Lilly pulled her in a tight hug. 'Thursday sounds just fine to me.'


	8. Chapter 8

VIII.

When she got home, the first thing she did was check the contact info on the packing of the test. After some hesitation, she punched in the number of the help desk on her cell phone and took a deep and shaky breath before putting on a grin and snapping into character.

A cheerful voice on the other side of the line rattled off a well-rehearsed message at a breathtaking speed.

'Hello, this is Lilly Kane speaking, I have some questions about one of your products I purchased a couple of days ago.' Another deep breath and she plunged right in. 'I've already taken one cheek swab, but unfortunately the other person involved… left town quite unexpectedly for something work related. So you see, I haven't really had time to get a sample from him. I was wondering if it is possible to use another DNA sample?'

'Well, there are some possibilities,' the woman on the other side of the line responded brightly. 'The lab can work with some other samples as well: hair, blood, nail clippings…' _Gotcha. _'… under the condition that they are clean and relatively fresh. You will have to pay some additional costs however…'

'Oh, that's not a problem at all!' The cheer in her voice was genuine now. 'Just tell me what to do and how to send it.'

Her dad barely had any hair, and she wasn't going to chase him with a kitchen knife either. But nail clippings wouldn't be that hard. The additional costs were quite high, but she had some extra money in her account and figured it'd be worth the effort.

Obtaining the sample was painstakingly simple. Her dad had broken one of his nails and after he'd cut it off to avoid further damage, she'd snatched it off the kitchen counter before he could throw it away. 'Honey, what are you going to do with that?' he'd asked, visibly surprised, but she'd just quipped about adding it to her vast nail clipping collection before opening the trashcan and complaining about how he never cleaned up after himself.

He probably thought her reaction was odd, _even_ for her, but she was pretty sure he didn't really have a clue as to what she was doing. She put the nail clipping in a clean zip bag and put it in the return envelope together with her cheek sample and reveled in the feeling of accomplishment. Now all she could do was sit back and wait.

The test results would be back in approximately one week. For the first time since setting the plan in motion, she could think about the results. It seemed awfully simple: the samples would match or they wouldn't. In the first and best case scenario, she'd be Keith Mars's daughter, the man she loved, trusted and admired more than anyone in the world.

The test was more for her own sanity than anything else, but she'd probably tell Lilly as well. She wasn't sure as to how her best friend would respond to the news. Lilly'd been excited at the idea they were sisters, but of course Veronica hadn't been quite as enthusiastic and it had put a serious strain on their relationship. Call her childish, but she hoped that they could go back to the closeness they had before. The Kane heiress and the sheriff's daughter, instead of the Kane heiress and the Kane bastard.

She probably had to tell Duncan the truth, too. He didn't deserve to think that he was still hung up on his own half-sister. Still, she felt angry and hurt, and then there was the fact that he didn't even know that _she _knew. And if she told him, how would he react? Would he be ashamed, or embarrassed, for never saying anything? Or would he want to go back to the way things were before? More importantly, would she take him back?

She knew she wanted her old friendship with Lilly back, but wasn't really sure if there was still a chance for her and Duncan after everything that happened. She wondered if he'd be able to see the new Veronica, a person quite different from the sweet girl he'd loved.

Then there was option two: she'd be Jake Kane's daughter. Not an idea she liked to linger on, but a viable one nonetheless. What would she do with that information?

She knew what most people would do: go to the press, make a claim to the Kane fortune, pick fights with his bitch of a wife. But she wanted none of it. It would only mean losing everything all over again.

'Honey?' She put down her fork and lifted her gaze to see her father looking intently at her from across the table. _Dinner. We're having family dinner._

'Yeah?'

'Are you alright? You seemed miles away.'

'I…' She halted for a moment, thinking of the best response she could give him. 'I'm just tired, I guess.'

'And school hasn't even started yet,' her dad chuckled, and she sent him a sour smile. He got up and pressed a kiss on her forehead. 'Take care of yourself, kid. That means no more late night parties at the Kane's.'

'That's totally unfair!'

'I'm your dad. I'm here to protect you from evil, not to be fair and logical all the time. I'm going to the office, we're working on a big case. Why don't you go to bed early, huh? Get some sleep.'

'I promised Lilly I'd be staying over this Thursday!' she shouted when he walked out the door. Seeing his warning glance, she grinned and gave him a small wave. 'Good luck on your case! Love you, bye!'

He just sighed and shook his head before closing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, her grin faded. She returned to the dinner table, where her mom was poking in her now cold mac 'n cheese, clearly lacking the appetite. She seemed just as distracted as her daughter.

'Mom?' Lianne looked up, startled. 'Are you going to finish that?'

'What? Oh – no, I guess I've had enough.' She smiled, looking even more fatigued than she had before.

'You want some of that chocolate mousse we made yesterday?'

'I – I think I'll pass. Actually, I have somewhere to go tonight as well.'

She knew those words. She'd heard them many times before, in different variations, but they didn't fool her and they hurt just the same.

_An old college friend… back in town for the weekend… we're just gonna meet up and have a couple of drinks… you don't have to wait up for me…_

She heard her mother get up and pack her bag, patting Backup before heading towards the door. 'Mom!' She was surprised to hear the desperation in her own voice, a soft tremble that had slipped in without her even noticing. 'Can't you just… please stay. Please.'

But she already knew what Lianne's answer would be. 'Veronica…' her voice was soft, much too soft and gentle for the words she was going to say. 'You're all grown up now. You'll be fine tonight.'

'Mom…'

The look on her face was sharp, resolute. 'I need to get going.'

She held her breath until the she heard the door fall into its lock. Only then she exhaled and let the tears fall softly into her lap as she sat alone at the dinner table.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much for all the kind reviews, I really love reading them! I know this isn't the longest multi-chapter fic, but I think there're going to be about 5 or 6 new chapters before I wrap this story up. And who knows what'll be next... **

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IX.

_Never again._

She felt the anger pouring out of her with every step, the sun blistering hot and burning on her face and shoulders, as she ran and ran along the boulevard. Her mom could screw whoever she wanted. She could walk away and never come back. That was her own fucking choice.

But never, _never _again would she break down, plead or cry.

People would always leave her behind. But she would never let it hurt her, never let it get to her. Not anymore. It was something she had to get used to. Her mom would let her down, she had done that on multiple occasions already. Duncan had left her without a word. Logan had turned his back on her once before. Lilly hadn't, _yet_, but she wondered if that'd be only a matter of time.

Her dad wouldn't leave her, she was sure he wouldn't – but would he feel the same way if he knew she wasn't his, but Jake Kane's daughter?

_He would never leave you_, said a small, faint voice in the back of her head, but an angrier one blared over it. _Of course he would! You better prepare yourself!_

Angry tears pricked in the corners of her eyes and she ran even faster, even though the heat was pressing on her lungs and she was already gasping for breath. She managed to run another mile before collapsing at the beach. Of course she'd gone out unprepared and hadn't packed a water bottle, something she, with a dry throat and rasping breath, very much regretted now.

She stretched out her body on the warm sand and closed her eyes, still breathing heavily. She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to show any weakness, even if there wasn't anybody there to witness it.

What was that mantra again? _Facts before feelings._

_Fact: your mother doesn't love you._

Hmm… disputable.

_Fact: Duncan Kane is an asshole._

Yes. That didn't mean she didn't love him. She sighed and turned on her side, the sand sticking to her sweaty back and shoulders. She pushed herself up and walked into the gulf, allowing her feet to sink into the slick sand. Soon, the water came up to her knees and she shivered slightly, although it was pleasant rather than cold.

She knew she had to get home. Her father liked to spend their weekends together as a family, and she used to look forward to them. But now she wondered if she'd be able to pull off the kind and caring daughter act. Especially since her mother hadn't come home last night. At six in the morning she'd stumbled through the backdoor, not even trying to keep the noise down.

Not that Veronica was sleeping. She'd woken up at five am after a restless sleep and hadn't been able to fall asleep again. She'd waited until her mother had disappeared into the master bedroom before she'd slipped out of her bed and gone downstairs. After two glasses of orange juice she'd taken Backup for a walk, early enough to see the sun rise over the bay. But she'd been to occupied with her own thoughts to really pay attention to the beauty of that morning. Backup seemed to notice her absence as well, never straying too far from her side.

She'd stayed on the beach 'til nine, and when she came home she'd changed immediately into her running clothes. She couldn't even look at her mother, saying a quick goodbye to her dad before taking off again. It had grown hotter very quickly. At eleven it'd become nearly unbearable.

She walked home and took a shower before joining her dad on the porch. Her mom had probably gone back to bed, but she didn't bother to ask.

'There you are, honey. I've barely seen you all morning.'

'You know me, I'm a busy girl.' She gave him a tight smile, but of course he noticed something was off.

'Are you okay, kid? You still look tired.'

She ducked her head, unable to meet his gaze. 'Mom left last night.'

He sighed. When he spoke again, he sounded tired too. 'I know.'

'Why do you let her do it?' she blurted out, finally sick of keeping up appearances. 'Why do you let her go? Can't you see what she's doing?'

'Veronica –'

'Why do you let her hurt us?' It came out as a sob. She looked up at him, his face torn between anger and hurt. He remained silent and secretly, she felt glad, because she didn't know what she wanted him to say.

'Do you love your mother?' he asked eventually, his voice softer than she'd expected.

'I hate her,' she answered truthfully, before adding: 'but yeah, I love her.'

She forced back the tears, swallowing heavily. 'Do you?'

'I love her. And Veronica, she loves you very much. Don't ever doubt that.'

'But not enough.' She remembered the words her mother had spoken the night before, harsh and deliberate. That made her choice pretty clear, right?

'Don't think like that, Veronica. Your mother loves you, she really does. But you've always been so much stronger than she is. You're a fighter.'

She couldn't help but smile. 'Like you.'

He grinned and pulled her into a tight bear hug. 'You bet. Come on, kid, let's do something fun.'

He got up and hurled her over his shoulder before she could protest, taking out his keys and walking up to the garage. 'What about a little trip to San Diego Zoo?'

'You better put me down then, driving safety and all.' He deposited her rather ungracefully in the passenger seat of the car.

'Oh? And who's going to arrest me?'

'Lamb, of course. He's been preying on your position since day one.'

'He's an ambitious man, I'll give him that. But I don't think driving without my seatbelt on is going to get me thrown out of office.'

'You'll be surprised…' she answered darkly, when the engine began to roar and they took off. Soon, they were driving on the PCH, the Pacific glistening peacefully down below. She looked at the man next to her, and suddenly she wondered if it mattered if he was her real father or not.

They could say all they want about blood running thicker than water but this man had raised her. He loved her unconditionally. The voice in the back of her head started to protest again, but this time, she pushed it away. Keith Mars loved her. Nothing would change that.


	10. Chapter 10

X.

The place Lilly had taken her for lunch wasn't any of their usual hanging spots, but Veronica didn't mind too much. After all, those places were filled with ghosts of the four of them, eating, drinking, joking, laughing, so happy and so certain nothing would drive them apart. And even though Logan might act like the world came to an end every time Lilly blew him off, he'd be fine the next week and they could easily fall into their old patterns again. Life wasn't perfect – no, it'd never been perfect – but it'd been good. It had been more or less predictable, with just enough excitement to keep it interesting. These days, she longed for the kind of excitement that didn't make her teeth rattle.

She followed Lilly to the entrance of the dinner, one that had just opened its doors in Neptune, California. She wondered if they'd be able to compete with Woody's burgers across the street, but it seemed nice enough. It was decorated in 50s style, with red leather booths and posters of Elvis and Marilyn Monroe plastered on the walls. She didn't doubt the milkshakes came with actual cherries on top, too.

Lilly seemed to fit right in with her figure-hugging shorts and huge cat eye sunglasses, but Veronica felt anything but glamorous with her messy ponytail and wrinkled t-shirt. Obviously it didn't matter to the waiter, who smiled at the both of them (his eyes lingering a bit longer on Lilly, of course) and showed them to their table.

Lilly's eyes were glistening as they took in their surroundings, before turning towards her friend with a wide grin on her face. 'Well, what do you think, Sandra Dee? Isn't this awesome?'

She sighed dramatically. 'Really, I would've fitted perfectly in the fifties! Don't you think motorcycles are superhot? All the guys had one those days. And those leather jackets…'

'I guess I can see the appeal,' she answered sharply, the Logan's words about Lilly's affiliations with the local biker club burning in the back of her mind. Lilly didn't seemed to notice, and was already talking about which burger she would order.

Veronica gazed at the menu, but the words blurred before her eyes. She loved Lilly, she really did, but sometimes she wondered if their friendship would be going strong for much longer. She'd been dazzled by Lilly Kane when they'd first met, and Lilly easily outshone everyone around her. But she wasn't perfect. That was something she learned the hard way, over the years. Especially the last couple of months had left their scratches on their once so unbreakable bond.

Would they really be the best of friends after Lilly went to some Ivy League college on the east coast? She wanted to believe that, but knowing Lilly, she would get caught up in a college life of boyfriends and frat parties and Neptune would be the last thing on her mind. Lilly wasn't small town, she was cosmopolitan, and silly old Veronica Mars who didn't even know yet if she'd be able to afford college wouldn't be big city enough for her.

_Surely that would be the way it'd go?_

'Who'd have thought? Lilly Kane, gracing this humble dinner with her presence!' She looked up only to stare into the grinning face of Troy, the boy she met on the beach over a week ago. Lilly's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

'Troy Vandergraff!' she chirped. 'Well, this is a nice surprise!'

She got up from her seat and wrapped him in a tight hug, her hands roaming dangerously low on his back. 'Come on, sit with us. Troy, this is my best friend in the entire world…'

'Veronica.' He sat down and locked eyes with her from across the table. She had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. 'We've met.'

'Really?' Lilly's eyes were nearly popping out of her head. 'When? Ronica, you never told me!'

'It kinda slipped my mind,' she mumbled, a bit irritated; Lilly knew she had more important things on her mind, after all. But Lilly pretended not to notice.

'Troy's an old family friend.' She turned her attention towards Troy again. 'I thought you were in L.A.? What happened to the beach house? _Please_ tell me your parents didn't sell the beach house.'

'Safe and sound, Lilly, safe and sound. But they've decided to settle in Neptune for at least a year. Think that uh… a _change of_ _environment_ might do me good.' He made a grimace, and Veronica's attention was caught. _A bad boy, huh? So that's why Lilly likes you. _'So I'm going to attend Neptune High next year with you guys.'

'Oh my god! Then you're going to be in Veronica's class! Of course, she's light years ahead mentally…'

'I've just turned seventeen this August,' Veronica cut in. 'So I _am _actually older than most students in junior year.'

Troy stared at her, his lips twitched into an amused smile. 'So you're a genius? Straight A's, top of the class?'

'Something like that,' she answered truthfully. 'What about you?'

'Uh… not so much. School isn't really my thing.'

'Well, if you're parents are family friends of the Kane's, they can probably buy you into Harvard.' For the first time, she fully returned his grin, seeing how he seemed uncomfortable for the first time. Lilly's eyes grew even wider. 'No need to worry.'

'One of the benefits of being filthy rich, I'll admit,' he answered. Turning to Lilly, he added, 'I can see why you like her.'

Now it was her turn to be surprised. He smirked while observing her reaction. 'So, you know Duncan too, then? I take it you've had classes with him, since he's a junior this year as well.'

'Well… yeah. I know him.'

'She and Donut used to date, actually,' Lilly chimed in, apparently oblivious to Veronica's discomfort. 'They had this sickening sweet high school romance thing going, until he saw she was way out of his league and broke up with her. Which was awesome, because she became the cool rock chick that was just _yearning _to get out all this time.'

'One way to put it,' Veronica said, avoiding eye contact with Troy. She wasn't sure how she felt about Lilly telling this stranger about _her _love life, especially an old friend of Duncan's. She knew Lilly would paint her in the most positive way, but it still made her feel uncomfortable and exposed.

'She's still annoyingly modest, though. A simple compliment will have her blushing like a catholic school girl.'

'Of course Lilly Kane only blushes at convenient times.'

'You got it.' Lilly's eyes were sparkling from across the table and she didn't suppress her smile.

Troy had been observing their exchange with a lazy grin on his face. 'Well ladies, it's been a pleasure. We should do this more often. Lilly, Veronica.'

He winked at them before throwing a fifty dollar bill on the table and swaggering off. Lilly stared pointedly at his ass as he walked away. 'So Troy Vandergraff's in town. This is going to be an interesting year.'

She smiled sweetly at her best friend. 'You know what? I think he's into you.'

Veronica buried her face in her hands and groaned.

'Lilly Kane, you're impossible.'

'Don't I know it?'


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! I'm sorry I had to keep you waiting, but here it is: chapter 11! There will be six more chapters, which I hope to upload before the end of the month. But I can't make any promises, because although all the chapters have been planned and outlined, I haven't written them yet. Again, thank you so much for your follows, favorites and reviews, it's really lovely to see:)**

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XI.

'Veronica?'

'Hmm?' she rolled over from her stomach onto her back, so that she was facing the ceiling. Sunlight peeped in from underneath the curtains and she wondered what time it was. Normally, she got up at about nine or nine thirty, and asked her mother to wake her if she slept past ten, but that rarely happened anyway. She was a morning person and actually didn't mind waking up early, which her dad often joked about. _'I'm starting to wonder if you just skipped puberty, honey!'_ he would say, and then go on about the time when _he _was young and wouldn't get out of bed before one o'clock in the afternoon.

Her mom knocked on the door and repeated her call. This time, she gave a more coherent answer, and her mom opened the door, carrying a tray with buttered toast and a glass of juice. 'Honey, I'm sorry to wake you but I think it's time to wake up now. I brought you breakfast, if you're hungry.'

'What time is it?'

The look on her mother's face was a bit too guilty for her taste. 'Mom?'

'Half past… twelve.'

'_What?_'

'I thought it might be good for you to catch up some sleep. You looked so tired last night.'

She groaned and hurled the sheets off of her. First of all, she needed a long, hot shower. Her stomach growled in protest.

'Don't get out of bed yet!' her mother protested. 'Just lie down and enjoy your breakfast, it's not like you have anything important today. It would be nice if you'd just enjoyed your holidays, sweetie.'

She wanted to object, but changed her mind and sank back into her cushions. 'Thanks mum. I _am _hungry.'

Lianne smiled and set the tray down on her bedside table. 'I guess I'll see you downstairs in a bit.'

After finishing her breakfast she got out of bed. She shot a quick look at her reflection in the mirror, and decided that sleeping in hadn't helped much; she still looked like shit.

_Well, isn't this nice?_

Truth be told, she'd had little sleep these last couple of days. The test results would come in today, and she was torn between damning her DNA and just accepting Keith Mars as her father, and giving in to her curiosity by just opening that letter. She'd gone through a lot of trouble already, and it would be good to at least clear up this muddy business. On the other hand, she was afraid that it might affect her relationship with both her parents and the Kane siblings, and she didn't know to what extent.

Now she had to make up her mind. Would she drive over to San Diego to get the letter, or would she stay her and try to ignore the nagging doubt on her mind?

She decided against the latter option. She might as well get the test results; she'd paid for them already, and she didn't actually have to _do _anything with them. She could always throw the letter away or shred it to a thousand pieces, but she would at least have the possibility to know about her true parentage.

If anything, it would buy her a little more time.

San Diego it was. Now she only had to come up with a viable excuse to tell her mum. Thankfully, lying became more and more easy for her these last couple of months.

'I'm spending the day at Lilly's!' she cried as she came into the kitchen after freshening up. She snatched an apple off the fruit tray and gave her mother a small peck on the cheek before running out the backdoor.

'Veronica!' She pretended not to hear her mother shouting after her and with a quick wave she jumped into her car. Normally, she'd call Lilly to secure her alibi, but this time she relied on her mother's reluctance to call at the Kane's. Her dad wouldn't be home until at least six that evening, so she had a good six hours left to drive to San Diego, get her results and drive back home.

The drive to San Diego wasn't a very eventful one, since the roads were very quiet on a summer day during lunchtime. She could probably avoid the work traffic around six as well, if she got to the city fast enough. It wasn't as hot today as it had been the rest of the week and the sky was grey and cloudy. This meant there weren't a lot of beachgoers either and California's coast made quite a dreary and cheerless appearance. Still, a couple of surfers were chasing the waves as usual.

When Veronica arrived at the post office, she felt quite relieved to see a different employee at the counter than last time. That woman probably wouldn't even recognize her, but still… maybe she would look more closely this time, maybe she'd see that this Lilly Kane wasn't who she said she was.

This time, she showed her ID to a girl who looked even younger than she was, and whose hands trembled when she handed over the envelope with a small, nervous smile. 'I believe this is it,' she said, 'Sorry it took so long. It's my first day, you see, I'm still a bit slow.'

Veronica gave her a sympathetic smile as she tucked the envelop in her backpack. _I could've said my name was Paris Hilton and this girl probably wouldn't even notice. _'No problem, really.I think you're doing fine.'

The girl looked a bit more relaxed and wished her a good day with a not quite so gloomy voice as before. Veronica resisted the urge to giggle and thanked her before walking back to the parking lot where her car was waiting for her.

She threw her backpack on the passenger's seat and decided not to think about the results along the way. She turned on the radio and tuned in on a top 40 station, hoping for songs she could sing along to – preferably very loud and very melodramatic.

She'd just put the car in reverse when a Whitney Houston song began to play.

'Well, that certainly fits my mood,' she said out loud.

It was also the last thing that crossed her mind before a minivan slammed into the back of her car and her head hit the steering wheel. With Whitney wailing in the background, her world faded to black.


End file.
